From the Heart: Six Ways to Build Connections in Your Selling Relationships by Diane Marie Pinkard

If you want to have a fulfilling career in sales, you must first and foremost ask yourself these two questions: Do you enjoy serving people? Do you want to make your customer’s day better than it was before he or she met you or talked with you?” If you answered yes to these questions, then sales is really the right place for you and I believe I have a few valuable pieces of advice to give you. By taking these few simple tips to heart, you can truly start to transform your selling!

1. Don’t look at your profession as a job; look at it as a way of life—a hobby. Learn to love what you are doing! Get excited to learn all you can to become a master. Like a master gardener or chef, it starts as an interest and becomes a hobby. Then, as we learn more, we become an expert—we become experts doing something we love! And naturally, we love the results!

2. Overcome your greatest obstacle—yourself! Listen to what you’re saying to yourself! Are you your own worst enemy? Are you negative, defensive, or critical? Are you just plain self-defeating, manipulative, and relentless in relating all the reasons why you can’t achieve success? If so, take a personal inventory and if you do not like what you see, get the help you need to re-program the personal tapes you are playing to yourself.

3. View yourself as a performer; see yourself as the star. Imagine yourself performing on center stage, and enjoying being in the limelight. Feel happy inside, and see your self singing and dancing. Drop your inhibitions and choreograph fun. Because “making merry” really makes the selling experience a lot more enjoyable for everybody. Loosen up and make some light, playful folly! And, with your lively customers, share the stage with them whenever the opportunity arises. Treat them like celebrities and choose them to be your costars. Happiness is freeing; it is also, very contagious!

4. Develop that inner place of passion embellished with fun when you are selling. Connecting from this sensitive, playful place will bring the relationship your customer is consciously or unconsciously yearning for. When I sell, I see myself as a cake full of heart, frosted with fun. I love to play with analogies, metaphors, and images as I perform. I love to watch people drop their guard, become real, and lighten up. People love to feel that you care, that you are enjoying them, and that you are genuinely interested in their needs. We all want to feel like we matter!

5. Be what you want others to be with you. Pay full attention to the self-empowerment you gain from this modest concept! Every day, people in all walks of life are hurt, angry and/or frustrated because they feel they’re not being treated the way they want to be treated. Your first expression is the client’s lasting impression. Your actions, your choice of words, your eye contact, and your body language all reflect who you are and your comfort level with yourself. Remember, you are the best product you have to offer. Plain and simple: You are selling you, and that’s what people buy—you!

6. Master the desire, the passion, and the ability to compassionately reach out to people. Nothing compares to the wonderful, welcoming sensations we have when we sense that someone really cares about us. Everybody has a hungry heart. Humans thrive on healthy interpersonal connections—we are meant to be happy, social creatures. And it’s so easy to achieve this bond by kindly extending a personal part of ourselves to others.

Today, we are living on the fast track in a rapidly changing world. Due to our modern existence, smothered with automation and highly sophisticated technology, making contact with a truly caring and competent service specialist is becoming more and more of a rarity. In our time-pressed society we are all so busy multitasking, we have lost touch with the precious value for human caring and enjoyable interconnectedness with one another.

So what can you do to make a worthwhile contribution and difference in our spinning, out-of-control world? Be different than other salespeople, simply by slowing down your tempo. Take that extra moment to treat your new prospects as though they are someone special. Take a few moments to tap into them; ask them about themselves and their talents, and listen to their responses with genuine interest. Let them know you are there with them and for them. Treat them the way you would like to be treated! You will be truly amazed with the wondrous results—your efforts will pay off tenfold!

I realize that not everyone is nice and/or receptive, nor do they want to be, and that’s just how the ball bounces. But what in the world do you have to lose by graciously channeling yourself to this euphoric place and seeing where it takes you? Again, this effort costs you nothing. It’s free! It seems almost impossible for me to express in words the blissful feelings you will experience when you realize the beautiful contribution you are gifting to others.

Besides the joy you are giving others, look at the wealth of goodness you are flooding into your own soul. Your sunshine energy not only affects your recipient, it permeates our universe. Think of your actions as a much-needed, healthy new epidemic—your vibrant, radiant behavior will catch on and become contagious. It’s really that simple!

Enjoy this beautiful, soft whisper from the past that I just read this morning: “Blessed are those who can give without remembering and take without forgetting.” This quote comes from Elizabeth Bibesco, a 20th century English writer. Please lock this precious morsel into your heart and model it in your life! Envision each small contribution you make for the betterment of mankind, to add up and help make our world a better place.

Please note: This article was published in the March 2009 issue of Master Salesmanship.

Diane Marie Pinkard

http://www.heartofsales.com

60+ And Loving It! by Diane Marie Pinkard

Recently, I have been reading and listening to some troubling comments by baby boomers that are very fearful or dissatisfied with their current professional lot-in-life! Here is a brief consensus of some of the remarks I am hearing and reading:

· I can’t find a job!
· I can’t keep up with the changes and transitions, the world is moving too fast.
· Am I even good enough anymore?
· I’m having to accept positions and/or salaries that are beneath my dignity, experience, and means.
· When I am seeking employment I see the expressions on the faces of young hiring managers.
· Silently, I hear hiring staff members saying, “You are older than we are looking for.”
· Companies seem to have a very specific idea of what they're looking for in a new hire and they are unwilling to accept any deviation from that vision. Obviously I don’t fit the bill.
· Young hiring managers ask me, how easy will it be for me to follow their leadership?
· I am afraid that, if I teach and mentor these young Gen Ys with what I know, once they get it, I will be booted out the door.
· I fear that my company is feeling like they are paying me more than they want to pay me because of my seniority. I just wonder when I am going to receive my “walking papers?”
· I feel awkward and like a “fish out of water.” I just don’t feel like I fit in.

Well my response to you struggling Boomers:

YOU ARE WHAT YOU BELIEVE!

And I believe that you have never been better!

I am now 63 years old and I feel like my gifts and offerings for my personal and professional life have never been greater. And I can accomplish my daily tasks with grace, finesse, and self-confidence, all rewarding me with great success. I feel like I have aged like a fine wine!

For me, I am proud of my age and I am wisely fulfilled with my vast experience. It is my many accomplishments and challenges that make me what I am today. Sometimes I feel like the rough-edged, ragged stone that has spent many years tumbling in the rock tumbler – and now I have come out to be the beautifully polished gem that God intended for me to be become. Yes, I have learned that you definitely have to do the personal work – to get polished!

Speaking of polish, two pearls of memory come up from my rich past. My Mother loves to tell me what her father used to say to her when she was a little girl: “Little Girlie, I wished I could teach you all the lessons of life that I have learned, but, unfortunately, you are going to have to learn them all for yourself.”

And second, when I was growing up, it always seemed that my mother could see so much that I could not see. And that would irritate me because I wanted to think I knew enough to make my own decisions, not have to listen to her. So one day, in an agitated state, I asked her, “What do you have Mother? Do you have a crystal ball, or something?”

She confidently answered, “You just wait and see. What you think you know now, you will be able to look back in ten years and see how more you know then, than now.” Now I have lived long enough to know the wisdom in her words.

So, after reflecting on these wise words from my Mom and Grandpa, I decided to start listing some of the benefits of being 60+. The assignment I gave myself is one I give to my clients. I ask my students to list all the good things going on in their life, then a list of all the bad. And most often, when people really dig in, they find many more items on the positive side of their list, than on the negative side. And that is exactly what happened to me!

I started writing and I could not write fast enough. I was up over 35 entries and the pen was still flying across the page, knowing I still had more items to add. A negative thought did not even enter my head. After glancing at my list I thought to myself, I will look terribly conceited if I publish this whole list. Why don’t I just pick 10 and let my readers have fun by adding many more. And believe me it was really hard to cut this list to 10! Here goes:

· I draw from a deep well of rich experience and knowledge for living my life each and every day
· I do not take things personally anymore, it is very difficult to ruffle my feathers
· I have suburb work ethics
· I am authentic – I truly walk my talk
· I am very comfortable in my own skin
· I can laugh at myself
· I have excellent interrelationship abilities that can bridge many genres
· I can love myself as much for my flaws and imperfections, as my many wonderful qualities
· I can remain balanced, centered, and grounded in times of stress and trouble
· I have a collection of life tools and skills to make life work with ease - my toolbox is full!

Yes experience does bring rich offerings to the table! But the excited young candidates also bring wonderful attributes and qualities for achieving high performance. So, if I was doing the hiring, I would be careful not to ever pass up a fine aging wine. But, I would also want to be very careful that I was not tangling with an old, aging oak tree that that did not have some bend like a young, wispy willow tree.

The key at ALL ages is: Be open to learning new things, be open to growth and change, and cultivate and believe in the rich offerings of you!!

I would love to hear from the 60+ crowd, and hear about the rich “makings” of YOU!

The First Person You Have to Learn to Sell to is You!

“The first person you have to learn to sell to is you! Before selling successfully to the world, you must learn to sell successfully to yourself. This means learning to identify with your own character and makeup; it means getting in touch with your own personal truth. I define my personal truth to be what I say to myself when no one else is listening. By experimenting with this process, you too will discover your own personal truth. This is a great way to discover the “real makings of you.” I refer to this concept as a “self-talk” – what we say to ourselves when we are quiet with ourselves, listening to our inner voice, which is constantly chattering to us. These are the tapes we play back to ourselves in our head, over and over again. So, if you don’t like the messages you’re hearing, change the record and play it repeatedly!”

This short excerpt comes from my sales training book for relationship selling, Just Treat Me Like I Matter: The Heart of Sales. And it was not until my book was complete, did I really realize what I had written. The theme of my book appeared in a testimonial from Pat McQuillan, Owner and CFO for Bay Plumbing Supply in Santa Cruz, CA. Pat said, “Diane has tapped into a new resource for selling – YOURSELF. This is a refreshing new outlook for the sales professional to look deep inside yourself and truly believe in what you are selling…” Now as I go back to my book, as I do, over and over again, I see that Pat was absolutely right. I am teaching salespeople how to become sales professionals, by teaching them how to market the best product they will ever have to market. And that product is YOU!

In these tough economic times, there are many people who are out of work, or they are employed in positions that are below or do not fit their capacities and talents. So, as a sales trainer, coach and mentor, what advice can I give, to assist you, in these hard times? Take some time to tap into the best product you have to offer: YOU!

Here are some activities and exercises to help you to get started:

· Take time each day for tranquility and/or self-growth before starting your day, out in the world. Some ideas:

First and foremost: Give thanks for what you do have. Write your list down, if you wish, and you will be pleasantly surprised that you do have a lot to be thankful for!

Sit quietly and listen to what comes in, pray, or meditate.

Get acquainted and very honest with yourself.

Journal your feelings and concerns.

· Pay attention to your attitude and the self-talk that is chattering in your head. Is it either, more positive or more negative? I say there are only two things we have any control of in this life. One is our actions and the other is our attitude. And both come from what we think. So listen to what you hear and if you like it, enhance it. And if it sounds like “stinkin-thinkin,” change it! Do not wait for anyone to save you or rescue you. With each negative thought that comes in, answer it with a positive one. Facing this feat takes self-awareness and self-discipline. Accomplishing this change come from the desire, belief and willingness to want to transform.

· As you start to counteract any negativity, bring in the positive. Start visualizing or focusing yourself for a great day of success. Become your own life coach and mentor. Tell yourself, “You can do it. You can become more upbeat and have a more positive outlook. Yes, you are what you think! So make your self-talk positive!

· Make personal enrichment one of your primary intentions and/or priorities? Each day make it a habit to take time to feed and/or nurture yourself for your personal and professional growth and development?

Read at least 10 pages from a good personal growth book.

Listen to a CD in your car or headset.

Find like-minded people that want to improve their life and work together.

· Grow to love the process. Grow to love the journey. Personally, I have grown to be much gentler and easier with myself, especially in tough times and challenging circumstances.
I have realized that every personal challenge I face offers me an opportunity to learn and mature with grace. See yourself as a “work in progress.” Look at your life as an opportunity for growth, evolvement and transition. As I taught my three boys when they were growing up, there are no such thing as a problem as long as they learned a lesson from the experience. And with each lesson learned they would receive a new tool to add to their toolbox for living their life. And that new tool would be their gift from learning the lesson from the bad experience.


· Create your dream or vision, and commit your heart to it. It is your thoughts that form your life, and it is your inner feelings that will manifest the results you want for your life. You design the blueprint for your life, for your future. So visualize your path, your journey to success. Program yourself for what you want your life to be, and make it happen! Your success starts with planting the idea or seed of how you want things to be. By aligning your inner desires and passions with your self talk, ultimately your desires will be realized. Be imaginative, be creative, and be disciplined in your process. True to your heart, lock in your intent and remain unbending for achieving your desired outcome. It will pay off!

· Remember, all life decisions are choices. Your life is constantly offering you options; you get to set your own intentions, then make your own choices. That’s one of the gifts of your existence. So, no excuses – ultimately you do choose! And doing nothing is still a choice!

I know these behaviors and disciplines are not an easy assignment when you are worrying about, how are you going to pay your bills. But, they are an absolute must for your personal survival. And they certainly can't hurt you.

From the bottom of my heart, I wish you well. Diane

If You're Not Getting Job Offers, You're Doing Something Wrong! by Marshall Northcott

I have the pleasure of being a guest blogger over at the Consultative Sales and Sales Management Professionals of Canada site. What a classically great example of the power of social networking through communities like LinkedIn. Marshall Northcott (editor) and I connected over LinkedIn. He liked my comments in groups and my blog posts and he invited me to join his team of guest bloggers. It may have taken me all of 5-seconds to say yes:). As a long time sales professional, Marshall has great insights about selling, but today he posted something just a little bit different. This one is all about what you are probably doing wrong if that job is still eluding you! The principles apply to closing deals by the way, so READ THE POST and leave a comment if you are so inclined. If you like…please pass on the love by ReTweeting!